“Hi. Let me introduce you to someone you’ll be living with for the rest of your natural life and won’t even know it; your Self.”

Boom. And we’re born.

Multiply this moment by 7 billion and you get 14 billion of us Planet Persons – half of whom don’t even realize the other half exists because for most of us living in our mildly sedated state, this intro never actually happens.

So we burst onto the scene inheriting permanent co-stars we’re unaware of; little drama-queens who’ll try to usurp the spotlight and sabotage our life script at every turn. “Of Soulmates and Cellmates; an Unconscious Love Story” – this could be the title of our tragicomedy.

Away we go … we and these little audience-craving, attention-grabbing, scene-stealing virtuosos with no experience, who will make mischief trying to produce, write, direct and star in their version of our life’s masterpiece.

From birth to death they will systematically eat our meals, wear our clothes, sleep in our bed (with our lover), dream our dreams, interact with everyone we’ll ever meet, spend our money … and they won’t even pay the rent.

Some of them are docile and downright enchanting. They respect the script. Enhance it, even. But most of these 7 billion want to star in Dramas, so they pull exhaustive on-the-set hi-jinks and power-plays like breaking up with our best friend’s spouse on Facebook. Or declaring war on a neighboring country.

Religion refers to these cantankerous scoundrels as the “Antichrist”, psychologists call them the “Inner Child” or “Super Ego”, spiritualists term them “Monkey Mind” … and Austin Powers anoints them “Mini-me”.

We of the celebrity-saturated blogosphere will christen them “CelebriTease” – CT’s herein, because they’re talented and crafty. They seduce us with persuasive force; little Lamborghini engines purring along in ego-drive until denied their will. Then they race into overdrive and behold the fireworks.

But a CT by any name is a CT nonetheless and will forever dwell within. Like a Palestine and an Israel there’s no escape. This is where the ultimate Peace Process begins.

So here we go with our CTs in tow, born into and raised by families of other CTs – all of whom are unaware of each other’s existence. At times it will get crowded. Sometimes mighty rowdy. The trick is to stay mindful (which we won’t because we don’t even know how to use it – our mind).

Sometimes it will get so rowdy we have to do something about it. Cry? Yell? Get ill? Kill?

Herein lies the proverbial fork. Which way Civilization goes will be driven by the bravado of our CTs. Most are adequate drivers, otherwise we’d already be extinct. However … we’re teetering.

There are 7 billion CelebriTease on earth and only one show in town, of which they all wish to star. They’re not inherently bad – just needy. They want to play … with us, their rightful audience. We live together but we haven’t been paying attention to them. So they upstage us. They act up.

Making peace with CTs by learning to be mindful is their quintessential closeup – and our essential storyline.

Let’s shine the spotlight on them once and for all, consciously and selectively. Little doses can go a long way.

Wonder what they have to say?

Lights, camera, action, roll sound …

(please note: this blog was created and written by my personal CT, a lover of pathos and comedy, of the Iliad and the Odyssey. Thus The Ili-odd: its own blog-stage on which to perform somersaults, stand-up, arias and other ili-odd things)